Sunday, July 20, 2008

B & E


Well, I did some babysitting yesterday afternoon and things turned out a little more adventuresome than I thought. (Eeek!)

I arrived at the house mid-morning and was happy that Zachary had only been awake for thirty minutes. This meant that after feeding him his oatmeal, we would have a good two hours of play before he would have lunch and a subsequent nap.

Zachary gobbled up his oatmeal, drank some milk and we went outside to play on the swing set and in the sand box. Zachary is at a nice age....he is about 14 months old and he is a well behaved little fellow.

After a late lunch, I decided that we would check out the basement of the house. I had never been down there before and I wanted to be able to add it into my description of this enormous, gorgeous house that looks like it is right out of a magazine. Oh, and plus, I was just being nosey.

I scooped up Zachary and said, "Come on, Zachary...we are goin' to the basement!" I looked back over my shoulder at the dog and said, "You stay here, Bugsy....you will just run around and get dust on your paws and then give us away." In order to make sure Bugsy didn't follow us into the basement, I shut the door behind me. We were on our way!

The basement is basically a work in progress. It is not finished, although it has great potential. Right now, it seems to be storage. "Well Zachary, there is nothing to see here...lets head back upstairs."

As we are about half way up the stairs, I look at Zachary and say, "Eeew Zachary! You STANK! Did you poop your pants?" Oh yeah....he did. He just grinned. "Okay then. I will change your diaper and then you are going down for your nap!" With that, I reach for the door handle and discover that it is locked. Slowly, the reality of Zachary and I being locked down in the basement begins to sink in.

"Hmmm....Zachary, this door is locked? What are we going to do? Maybe I am not pushing hard enough.....nope. This door is definitely locked."

"Okay, nobody panic. Let's go back down to the basement and look for something we can jam into this door's lock and hopefully pry it open." We return to the basement where we unsuccessfully find anything that will help us. No extra key, no screwdriver, no crowbar....NOTHING!

"Zachary, lets head back up those stairs. Maybe we can push it open." At the top of the stairs, Bugsy is looking at us and wondering why we are stopping at this door. I begin to wonder if Bugsy can turn into the Air-Bud wonder dog type and open the door for us. After all, if the dog just gets his paw on the top of the handle, it could potentially just open up because that is the type of handle it is. "Come on, Bugsy....you can do it! Just jump up. Jump up!" The dog just stares at me. "Damn it Bugsy.....you and I are going to watch Lasie if Zachary and I ever get out of here!"

Then I remember that there is another set of stairs that lead up to the main floor from the basement. "Come of Zachary....to the other stairs!"

Well, just as I expected, the door to that set of stairs is also locked. Ugh! Zachary and I go back down the stairs and try to re-group. "How are we going to get out of here, Zachary. Your parents will be home in two hours and you have not had your nap yet and you pooped your pants!"

After some pacing and brainstorming, I have somewhat of an epiphany. Windows! There are two large windows along one wall of the basement. And due to the building codes, the windows have large window wells to them. "Zachary, we are saved!" I set him down and give him some brief rules. "Do not make a mess. Do not get dirty, you will give us away. Just be careful." Zachary looks at me, then begins to explore the immediate area while I survey the windows.

I go to the first window. I unlock it. Just as I think we are home free, I realize that I cannot get the window open. I try harder, but nothing works. After some serious elbow grease, the window comes open! "Yahooo!"

Wait a minute. What is this screen doing here? Who puts screens on basement windows that they never open? Ugh! I proceed to work with the screen, trying to get it loose. Nothing works. I step back, survey the situation and decide to check out the other window. The second window has sheet rock stacked up in front of it. Not easily discouraged, I convince myself that I can shimmy down between the sheet rock and the wall and then get to the window. Luckily for us, I see that there is a screen on that window as well, so I just decide to stick with the window I have already opened.

"Don't worry, Zachary. I will have us out of here in no time." Hmmm....I wonder if the baby can sense that I am lying to him....oh well.

I finally see a small gap at the center of the screen. I am able to push it outward and it comes off. I toss the screen the side and grab some paint cans. I take one 5 gallon bucket and set it outside into the window well so that I can use it to stand on and climb out. I grab the other 5 gallon bucket, climb up on it and finally I am out of the basement! I holler back to Zachary...."Stay here little buddy. I will go around to the garage door and then run down and get you. Don't move. And don't cry or the men working back on the dock will hear us."

I stand up and prepare to climb out of the window well. Due to the recent rain, the small rocks at the bottom of this window well are not providing a stable base. I quickly put one foot on the paint bucket and attempt to lift the other foot up over the side of the window well and onto the lawn. Oh no! My legs are too short. Ugh!

I get down, jump back down into the basement and explain to Zachary what is happening. I get a regular can of paint, use it to get out of the basement and then stack the two 5-gallon paint buckets on top of one another to get out of the window well. Before jumping up, I look to make sure the neighbors are not outside. The coast is clear.

I climb out of the window well, run around to the garage door....and wouldn't you know it...the garage door is locked! The door that they always leave unlocked is now locked! I am locked outside of the house and the baby is locked in the basement. Shoot!

I run over to the garage door to see if it is open. No....it is not. I attempt to punch in some numbers on the key pad to see if I can magically guess the combination to get the garage door to open up. I cannot.

In one last attempt, I go over to the second set of garage doors to see if it is open. Yahoo! It is! I run into the house, down the basement and grab Zachary! We are free! I put the paint cans back and tried to put the window back together. Well, I couldn't get the screen back on, but at this point, I don't care. The screen can just rest up against the window for all I care. "Come on Zachary, let's change your diaper and put you down for a nap."

I am so sweaty from this adventure that my hair is wet. I debate about washing it, but decide I didn't look that great when I arrived, so I will just try to cool off under the fan.

This breaking and entering business sure is tiring!


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