Wedding Couple

Here is a picture of my cousin Jared,

and his new wife, Stephanie.

Wedding

At the end of May, my cousin got married in Strasburg.  My mom, Elizabeth and Sarah went with me.  We met up in Champaign and Sarah's friend Zach snapped a picture of us before we headed to the ceremony.

After the wedding, we went to the Daisy Lane Scrapbooking and Craft Mall, which was conveniently located less than one mile from where the reception was being held!

Because we were able to go shopping, we only had to wait 30 minutes for the bridal party to arrive before dinner was served.

I highly recommend doing something during this 2-3 hour time frame while the wedding party is galavanting all over creation for photographs.

Our entertainment for the evening was Shannon and Lance's little girl Addison.  Here she is making "motorboat" noises with her mouth as Elizabeth is holding her...

She is so stinkin' cute!

Birthday Ends with a BANG!

My 31st birthday was yesterday.  Billy the Beagle's humans (my Aunt Mary and Uncle John) took me to dinner at Texas Roadhouse and then Billy gave me his gift, a large assortment of goodies from Bath & Body Works.  (This beagle has stellar taste!)

I found some cupcakes to hand out to my canine friends, so on my way to give Bruno his treat, I stopped by Grandpa's house so that I could visit with him.

Around 10pm, it was time for me to head home.  As I walked though the kitchen, I saw a bug on the counter.  I began moving things off of the counter.  I saw the disgusting bug...Grandpa thought it was a roach.  Nasty.  

Please hold...shivers are going up and down my spine.  Ewwwwe.

Ok....so Grandpa handed me some bug spray and told me to spray the bug as it ran out from its hiding place.  He moved the mixer but there was no roach.  

Hmmm....

Well, we started looking behind the knives and then I saw it!  It was crawling on this dark green coaster.  As I reach over and try to spray it, the creepy thing jumps off of the counter and onto the floor towards me.  

As soon as I saw it, I began to spray and spray and SPRAY!  I planned on drowning this thing!  Grandpa suggested I just step on it and kill it.  Seems like a good idea.  So I lift me foot up so that it is even with my knee.  I stomp down as hard as I can and BOOM!  My foot slipped in all of that bug spray that I just put on the floor.  

I was facing North, standing and spraying the roach.  Within three seconds, I am facing South, the can of bug spray drops and the lid flies across the room and smacks against the wall, as I am now on the floor, freaking out that the roach is now out of my sight!

I instantly check the bottom of my shoe and I am relieved to see a flat, dead roach.  I scoop myself up off of the floor as Grandpa chuckles, gets a paper towel to wipe up all of that bug spray that is on the floor as he says, "well you didn't have to stomp that hard!"

I definitely didn't think I'd end my birthday on the floor, sitting in bug spray, trying not to let on that my foot hurt from the fall....

Mahomet McDonalds with SHOW K9

On my way into town this morning, I decided to stop at McDonalds and grab some breakfast.  I am beginning to notice a pattern when going to the McDonalds in Mahomet.  No one there seems to know how to use the drive through appropriately now that they have upgraded to the 2-Lane drive through.  All over Champaign and other towns I have been to that have the 2-Lane drive through, consumers seem to know how to make it work for them.  This is not the case in Mahomet.

Despite bright yellow lines and large arrows painted on the pavement to guide you through the drive through, cars just drive all over the place.  I am not sure if it is a deep need to receive their food as quickly as possible or just confusion.  Rather than forming one line and then deciding which lane to enter as you approach the ordering station, those using this particular McDonalds form two lines immediately.  The directions are painted on the pavement!  They are not waiting until they approach the fork in the road before choosing which path to take...they are creating two roads 300 feet before the "fork!"

How unsettling.  This happens EVERY time I go to this McDonalds.  Every time!

So here I am again this morning.  I am following directions and staying in the single lane.  Just as I am trying to decide which lane I would like to choose, a rusty FORD pick up truck drives around me and forms a new line behind the outer lane.  I wanted that spot!  Everyone knows the outside lane goes faster!

Ugh.

So now, I am stuck in the inside (slower) drive through lane.  I am behind the ugliest tan, Astro mini-van that I have ever seen.  Not only does the car appear to be from the late 1980's but so does the driver's hairstyle, glasses and outfit.  This lady is SLOW.  Her license plate says SHOW K9....what is that supposed to mean?  Then I begin to wonder if she likes to show dogs in competitions.  She seems like she'd be the type to show a dog that looked just like her.  If that were the case, then she would have an afghan hound.  Add glasses and tint the hair red, and you have Ms SHOW K9 herself!

Ten minutes have now passed and about four cars in the other lane have now successfully ordered their breakfast and have driven around to collect their food.  It is then that I hear the driver ahead of me (Ms K9) ask the boy speaking to her what ingredients are in a skillet burrito.  Then she begins asking if he likes it or if he thinks it is too spicy.  Is this lady blind?  There is a huge picture of a McSkillet Burrito right in front of her and it is so large that you can see in great detail exactly what is inside.  Her daughter is now trying to shrink down in the front seat, as she is most likely mortified and embarrassed by her mother's questions.  And these are not questions for the drive through...these are "inside" questions.  Finally, she makes her selection, with special instructions, and we can all move along with our orders.  Too bad it is nearly time for lunch!

New Ball

I recently went to B. Lime where I found a few treasures, including a new ball for the Brunster.  The ball is Huck and it has become a fast favorite.  Next time you are in Chambana, I highly recommend you stop by this great new store!

* PS - So far, Huck has lived up to his "toughness!"

A Woman's Week at the Gym

If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine...

Dear Diary, 

For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY:

Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit- ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!

TUESDAY:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.

THURSDAY:

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.

Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny bitch to find me.

Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY:

I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.

Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY:

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY:

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little shit) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!